The Synopsis
This is Alana's idea of a synopsis.
V
MY Trip To Nicaragua In Easy To Follow Format!
# of hours spent waiting for chicken bus = 60
# of smokes lit ensuring the arrival of the bus =20
# of times that worked = 0
# of beers drank on the side of the road waiting for bus = 11
# of times I actually got a seat on the chicken bus = 4
Largest # of people seen on bus = at least 170
Largest # of chickens seen on chicken bus = 0
# of times I was the only gringa on the bus = 21
# of times I gave up waiting for the bus and stayed another night = 2
Maximum # of people seen on one bicycle = 6
Minimum # of people seen on one bicycle = 2
Maximum # of people seen on one motorcycle = 5
# of helmets being worn = 1
# of incredibly loud sounds coming out of improbably small insects = at least 55
# of boat rides where I thought I was going to die = 7
# of times that thought wasn't all that farfetched = 2
# of no-tell motels slept in = 12
Average cost per night = $4
Average cost per hour = How the hell would I know?
# of times I thought "I really should not be in this neighborhood" = 6
# of times that actually made me leave = 1
# of kids I told my name to = 11
# of times I kicked myself in the a$$ for doing so = 11
# of times I heard the hiss of a snake = countless
# of times the sound came from a man and not a snake = all of them
# of Giocondas met = 1
# of Spanish/ English dictionaries given away/lost = 2
# of times I desperately needed it after = at least 10 times a day every day
# of bars kicked out of = 0 (go team me)
# of nights stayed in places that I went to by accident = 9 (I'm actually shocked that I'm not still there....as I'm sure is Gia)
# of plans that changed 10 minutes prior to departure = all of them
# of new facebook friends = 47
# of 80's hairband love ballads heard = I lost count so let's just say a million
# of hammocks seen hanging from trucks on the side of the road = 22
# of souvenirs bought for people than decided to keep for myself = 3 (sorry)
# of times I missed my heels = at least once a week
# of times I missed my makeup = 0 (still can't bring myself to put it on)
Average cost for dinner including drinks (and we all know how much I drink) = $10
# of bottles of rum drank with a Dutch/Australian couple met on Ometepe = 2 ( I think)
# of push-ups done with aforementioned couple = there was a lot of rum involved so I'm going to guess at 65ish
# of random people who knew people who I knew = 6
# of spoons found = 15
# of naked swims = 1
# of hours spent lost in jungle = 7
# of men seen trying to climb up a greased up phone pole that was swaying and placed FAR too close to live wires = 14
# of new potential 7 Wonders of The World visited = 1 Ometepe(should have made the list but didn't)
# of firework displays seen that rained shrapnel on everyone = 1
# of people seen begging for food who didn't look hungry = 17
# of dogs and cats seen begging for food who did look hungry = far too many
# of soccer games skillfully avoided being caught in the middle of = 13
# of times slept past 9am = 5 (shocking, I know)
# of times I brushed my hair = 6
# of casinos visited (little shacks with a few slot machines in them) = 5
# of slot machines that electrocuted me = 1 (that I'm willing to speak of)
# of interesting things spit off a balcony = 1, depending how you look at it.
# of times I was electrocuted by a suicide shower (someone had the brilliant idea to attach a heating element to the shower head) = 1 ( I only needed one warning)
# of times I was asked by a local to buy them school supplies = 7 times by the same person
# of sunsets watched in the rain = 6
# of times I heard "Happy Killing the Aliens Day (Independence Day) = 3 but by the same person
# of random occurrences = pretty much everyday of my trip at least 6 or 7 times a day
# of tails of airplanes seen on the ground in a town with no roads or cars = 1 (not at all foreboding and I won't even mention the boat that was broken in two. Saw both of them the day before actual deathboat)
# of Jungle Gyms played on = 1
# of bruises I left on the poor guys who were forced to sit beside me on death-boat # 3 (it may have been the 3rd horrifying boat ride of the trip but it was so much more than easily the most terrifying! And also, thanks guys! I likely would have gone crazy, and or, given myself up to the water gods without you) = not sure. You would have to ask them
# of unexplained bruises = again, don't ask me
# of bottles of bug-spray I wasn't allowed to take in my checked luggage on the 20 minute flight to Corn Islands = 1 but they handed my razor back to me for me to put it in my carry on bag and said 'have a nice flight'.
# of times Labradoodle scared me up some Howler Monkeys = 1
# of times I fell out of bed and stayed there = 1
# of mosquito bites gotten that night what with the whole there not being a mosquito net for the floor thing = at least 25
# of times I looked at my millions of mosquito bites and said "Well now I've gone and gotten the Dengue" = at least 25
# of possible drug-running boat rides = 2
# of times I heard Silvio say, "I saw a bar back there" or " who wants to go for a drink" = lost count
# of times this conversation happened; Me "What do you think our chances of dying today are?" Paul "I'd say a little higher than normal." = 1
# of knives borrowed from kitchens to complete Paul's Rambo ensemble = 1 (that we know of, I stand by the belief that Silvio is withholding information)
# of times our host had his gun taken away by the cops because he fired it into the air while he was bombed (again, that we know of) = 1
# of times I had to pee but was so drunk I couldn't find my door so I climbed out my window and scraped the crap out of my toe = 0
# of people I knew for only 3 hours but still consider friends = 11
# of days I could have spent at Crater's Edge on Laguna de Apoyo = A million and I'm looking at achieving this hope
# of boats driven in big a$$ waves that helped me to get over my new found fun fear of boats= 1
# of big a$$ scary waves that were heading our way while I was sitting right on the nose of the boat and I didn't scamper away in mad terror = 1 (Yea ME!)
# of times I wished I was smart enough to attach rather incriminating photos to this note = every point ( and.....you're welcome, as I'm sure, am I)
# of times I've thought about returning to Nicaragua since I've been home = Lost count because; A: the # is WAY too high and B: I've realized that I need to stop counting things
This is Alana's idea of a synopsis.
V
MY Trip To Nicaragua In Easy To Follow Format!
# of hours spent waiting for chicken bus = 60
# of smokes lit ensuring the arrival of the bus =20
# of times that worked = 0
# of beers drank on the side of the road waiting for bus = 11
# of times I actually got a seat on the chicken bus = 4
Largest # of people seen on bus = at least 170
Largest # of chickens seen on chicken bus = 0
# of times I was the only gringa on the bus = 21
# of times I gave up waiting for the bus and stayed another night = 2
Maximum # of people seen on one bicycle = 6
Minimum # of people seen on one bicycle = 2
Maximum # of people seen on one motorcycle = 5
# of helmets being worn = 1
# of incredibly loud sounds coming out of improbably small insects = at least 55
# of boat rides where I thought I was going to die = 7
# of times that thought wasn't all that farfetched = 2
# of no-tell motels slept in = 12
Average cost per night = $4
Average cost per hour = How the hell would I know?
# of times I thought "I really should not be in this neighborhood" = 6
# of times that actually made me leave = 1
# of kids I told my name to = 11
# of times I kicked myself in the a$$ for doing so = 11
# of times I heard the hiss of a snake = countless
# of times the sound came from a man and not a snake = all of them
# of Giocondas met = 1
# of Spanish/ English dictionaries given away/lost = 2
# of times I desperately needed it after = at least 10 times a day every day
# of bars kicked out of = 0 (go team me)
# of nights stayed in places that I went to by accident = 9 (I'm actually shocked that I'm not still there....as I'm sure is Gia)
# of plans that changed 10 minutes prior to departure = all of them
# of new facebook friends = 47
# of 80's hairband love ballads heard = I lost count so let's just say a million
# of hammocks seen hanging from trucks on the side of the road = 22
# of souvenirs bought for people than decided to keep for myself = 3 (sorry)
# of times I missed my heels = at least once a week
# of times I missed my makeup = 0 (still can't bring myself to put it on)
Average cost for dinner including drinks (and we all know how much I drink) = $10
# of bottles of rum drank with a Dutch/Australian couple met on Ometepe = 2 ( I think)
# of push-ups done with aforementioned couple = there was a lot of rum involved so I'm going to guess at 65ish
# of random people who knew people who I knew = 6
# of spoons found = 15
# of naked swims = 1
# of hours spent lost in jungle = 7
# of men seen trying to climb up a greased up phone pole that was swaying and placed FAR too close to live wires = 14
# of new potential 7 Wonders of The World visited = 1 Ometepe(should have made the list but didn't)
# of firework displays seen that rained shrapnel on everyone = 1
# of people seen begging for food who didn't look hungry = 17
# of dogs and cats seen begging for food who did look hungry = far too many
# of soccer games skillfully avoided being caught in the middle of = 13
# of times slept past 9am = 5 (shocking, I know)
# of times I brushed my hair = 6
# of casinos visited (little shacks with a few slot machines in them) = 5
# of slot machines that electrocuted me = 1 (that I'm willing to speak of)
# of interesting things spit off a balcony = 1, depending how you look at it.
# of times I was electrocuted by a suicide shower (someone had the brilliant idea to attach a heating element to the shower head) = 1 ( I only needed one warning)
# of times I was asked by a local to buy them school supplies = 7 times by the same person
# of sunsets watched in the rain = 6
# of times I heard "Happy Killing the Aliens Day (Independence Day) = 3 but by the same person
# of random occurrences = pretty much everyday of my trip at least 6 or 7 times a day
# of tails of airplanes seen on the ground in a town with no roads or cars = 1 (not at all foreboding and I won't even mention the boat that was broken in two. Saw both of them the day before actual deathboat)
# of Jungle Gyms played on = 1
# of bruises I left on the poor guys who were forced to sit beside me on death-boat # 3 (it may have been the 3rd horrifying boat ride of the trip but it was so much more than easily the most terrifying! And also, thanks guys! I likely would have gone crazy, and or, given myself up to the water gods without you) = not sure. You would have to ask them
# of unexplained bruises = again, don't ask me
# of bottles of bug-spray I wasn't allowed to take in my checked luggage on the 20 minute flight to Corn Islands = 1 but they handed my razor back to me for me to put it in my carry on bag and said 'have a nice flight'.
# of times Labradoodle scared me up some Howler Monkeys = 1
# of times I fell out of bed and stayed there = 1
# of mosquito bites gotten that night what with the whole there not being a mosquito net for the floor thing = at least 25
# of times I looked at my millions of mosquito bites and said "Well now I've gone and gotten the Dengue" = at least 25
# of possible drug-running boat rides = 2
# of times I heard Silvio say, "I saw a bar back there" or " who wants to go for a drink" = lost count
# of times this conversation happened; Me "What do you think our chances of dying today are?" Paul "I'd say a little higher than normal." = 1
# of knives borrowed from kitchens to complete Paul's Rambo ensemble = 1 (that we know of, I stand by the belief that Silvio is withholding information)
# of times our host had his gun taken away by the cops because he fired it into the air while he was bombed (again, that we know of) = 1
# of times I had to pee but was so drunk I couldn't find my door so I climbed out my window and scraped the crap out of my toe = 0
# of people I knew for only 3 hours but still consider friends = 11
# of days I could have spent at Crater's Edge on Laguna de Apoyo = A million and I'm looking at achieving this hope
# of boats driven in big a$$ waves that helped me to get over my new found fun fear of boats= 1
# of big a$$ scary waves that were heading our way while I was sitting right on the nose of the boat and I didn't scamper away in mad terror = 1 (Yea ME!)
# of times I wished I was smart enough to attach rather incriminating photos to this note = every point ( and.....you're welcome, as I'm sure, am I)
# of times I've thought about returning to Nicaragua since I've been home = Lost count because; A: the # is WAY too high and B: I've realized that I need to stop counting things
