A sign of the times?

[Knife's Wife]

No actually it is like a bride buying table arrangements from us but bringing in her own vases. We do it all the time. If she can get them at a better price then I can sell them to her, than I say go for it, why not I am still selling her my talent, my labor, my flowers. The funeral director probably offered this service to them, they usually do. The family must have declined to save money. I don't blame them I would not put the flowers in the vases or deliver them for free, would you?

Knife's Wife

 

[TOTO]

Thank you for YOUR SERVICE to OUR COUNTRY!

I agree, that is horrible. If the family couldn't afford the FH casket & many have become too outrageous, the FH should have at least let them put the body in the casket at the FH & then bring it to the VFW. If the man was a veteran, the military only pays so much for the burial of a service member & it is not much. I am a veteran & have told my family, ship me to Arlington, VA to the National Cemetery, the government will pay for that. One other Peeve, here in Atlanta some FH won't recommend a flower shop without getting a 30% commission. I refuse to pay them so I don't get their business. I do get to do funeral work strictly from my customers. What is even more appalling is the shops that get their business from the FH charges that 30% fee to the customers because their prices are significantly higher than market rate. If only the people really new what was going on in this business. They probably got there flowers from COSTCO too, they are offering that now in our area. WE still need to handle this time with respect & dignity, my God he served his country for how many years???? Even worse, Was he a war vet??? I don't think I would recommend that FH to my customers or at least spread the word about how that was handled, totally inappropriately!!!

The treatment of the body of this deceased by that funeral director was a DISGRACE!

There is NO FUNERAL HOME side of this story!

Suffice it to say that, many of them (not all) are MERCENARY, especially the conglomerates like SCI (aka: DIGNITY MEMORIALS).

HQ out of Texas tells their SUBCONTRACTED FUNERAL DIRECTORS (many of whom were the former owners) that, THEIR HOUSE FLORISTS must kickback 30% to that SCI funeral home.

What do those florists do? Well, they take their book and add 30% to all of their regular prices, hand that over to the funeral home, and it's THE FAMILY who winds up getting S-C-R-E-W-E-D!

You already know that, and like you, I refuse to be a part of their scam on the bereaved family members who are clearly taken advantage of and at one of the lowest points of their lives.

Situations like this should be exposed for what they are and appear on our nightly news.

There was ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE for their treatment of the body of this deceased and in full view of the family and other mourners who wanted to pay their respects.

It was a DISGRACE!

 

[TOTO]

They too are AMAZING!

Toto, OOH!! RAH!!! You are awesome!! I won't have 6 Marines unless the rest of my family shows up, but I will have the 6 Army Honor Guard!!!

GO ARMY!

I believe that EVERY AMERICAN CITIZEN should take the time and plan to visit the TOMB of THE UNKOWN SOLDIERS at Arlington Cemetery.

The ARMY's Old Guard Honor Guard Stands watch, 24/7/365.

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier - Honor Guard

Again, Thank you for your Service to Our Great Country!

 

[lmariesteve]

When My husband died 7 years ago with cancer, I made his arrangements with a local funeral home, who had the visitation at the funeral home and we had a memorial service at our church. The director was meeting us with his body at the little country church where generations of his family are buried, including his older brother who died at 21 in Viet Nam. All went well until we arrived at the church where I was greated with the news that the Vault had not arrived. When they called the monument company, they had no record of one being ordered. Everyone had left for the day ( Sat afternoon) except this one poor guy who thank goodness offered to bring it down. It is a 1 1/2 hour drive to the cemetery. It was supposed to be a graveside service as we had already had a memorial at our church in Franklin. Luckily, his family were long time members of the church and had keys to it and the funeral director assistants had set his body in the small sanctuary of the church. Our pastor had to leave because of prior commitment so we had the "graveside" in the church. We then had to wait for the vault to arrive. People had to leave, which I can understand. So by the time the vault had arrived there were just the immediate family, a few cousins, and some wonderful friends who stayed with us. So here we are, my in-laws who have outlived both their children, my two teenage sons, and myself having to watch the vault being lifted and placed into the gravesite and then the casket lowered into the vault. It was the wierdest thing I have ever experienced. The directors were in a big hurry apparently to get out of there, because they gathered us up and took the casket and had the pallbearers carry the casket to where it had to be lifted and lowered into the vault. They could have waited until everything was ready, then have us come down to the graveside. The guy with the backhoe was standing by and went right to work as soon as the lid to the vault was secured. I can just imagine how my in-laws felt- 'cause I know it was upsetting for me.
Now, I really didn't expect any type of discount from the funeral home because of this..... but a note from Anderson Funeral home apologizing sure would have been nice.

 

[TOTO]

Another Sad Story!

When My husband died 7 years ago with cancer, I made his arrangements with a local funeral home, who had the visitation at the funeral home and we had a memorial service at our church. The director was meeting us with his body at the little country church where generations of his family are buried, including his older brother who died at 21 in Viet Nam. All went well until we arrived at the church where I was greeted with the news that the Vault had not arrived. When they called the monument company, they had no record of one being ordered. Everyone had left for the day (Sat afternoon) except this one poor guy who thank goodness offered to bring it down. It is a 1 1/2 hour drive to the cemetery. It was supposed to be a graveside service as we had already had a memorial at our church in Franklin. Luckily, his family were long time members of the church and had keys to it and the funeral director assistants had set his body in the small sanctuary of the church. Our pastor had to leave because of prior commitment so we had the "graveside" in the church. We then had to wait for the vault to arrive. People had to leave, which I can understand. So by the time the vault had arrived there were just the immediate family, a few cousins, and some wonderful friends who stayed with us. So here we are, my in-laws who have outlived both their children, my two teenage sons, and myself having to watch the vault being lifted and placed into the graveside and then the casket lowered into the vault. It was the weirdest thing I have ever experienced. The directors were in a big hurry apparently to get out of there, because they gathered us up and took the casket and had the pallbearers carry the casket to where it had to be lifted and lowered into the vault. They could have waited until everything was ready, then have us come down to the graveside. The guy with the back hoe was standing by and went right to work as soon as the lid to the vault was secured. I can just imagine how my in-laws felt- 'cause I know it was upsetting for me.
Now, I really didn't expect any type of discount from the funeral home because of this..... but a note from Anderson Funeral home apologizing sure would have been nice.

So sorry to read about your sad set of circumstances and the loss of your beloved Husband.

Had you been a vindictive person (and obviously you're not), you would've SUED the Funeral home for SERVICE RELIABILITY FAILURE.

Clearly, they FAILED TO PERFORM under the terms of your contract with them by NOT ORDERING the burial vault, which then caused you and your family members, UNNECESSARY PAIN and SUFFERING.

Why is it that, these BIG BUCK BUSINESSES seem to be able to get away with MAJOR MISTAKES when a consumer is paying them THOUSANDS of DOLLARS for their products and services, and WEE FLORIST are expected to give our stuff away FOR FREE if one POM POM in our arrangement is RAINING because the recipient mishandled it?

Never could understand that scenario and probably NEVER WILL!

 

[felicityflowers]

Randy & V, I completely agree with every single word you have said. My husband is a funeral director and I see him often struggle with the same business issues that we face as florists.

The point everyone is missing is that it is against the law for a funeral home to charge a family a fee, or refusing to handle, a casket that was not purchased directly from the funeral home. None of us know the agreements that were made when the contract was signed. Maybe this is something the family wanted to do as a memorial to the deceased. Maybe it's something the deceased requested. I'm sure the family was fully aware of the law because it's stated on every single Costco casket web page. You can't miss it.

I don't think there is a single funeral home that would risk their license over a casket.

There is an FTC page dedicated to making consumers more aware of what funeral directors are required, and not required, to do.

http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/services/funeral.shtm

 

[shannonlovesflowers]

And What you just said Heather was my point.

WE DO NOT KNOW the circumstances of this case, and we never will. Let it go. I'm not being cold, I just know there is always so much more to a story than what we can "SEE".

The BEST part of this thread is that maybe some of us will take the warning and get our own personal affairs in order so we don't have to struggle with this ourselves some day.

 

[Joe Mioux]

This is truly amazing to me. Black comedy is right - Heave-Ho!

Anybody ever see Weekend At Bernie's?

As far as being respectful... Disrespectful children have been growing up for years now. We will always be a product of our own doing.

This would be like a florist showing up at the same time as FedEx and arranging the ProFlowers for the recipient.

I once did that for an old lady, except it was 800 not pf

cost X 4, Costco wouldn't have a market.

At the funeral home, a metal Casket costs around $3995.00.

A similar casket at Costco costs $924.99 with shipping included.

COSTCO 18 GAUGE STEEL CASKET

Costco casket price vs the sympathy flower prices seems a bit out of phase. I don't see anything inexpensive with their sympathy flowers.

joe

 

[geebf]

Sorry.. But can I assume that " costco" is large department type store?.....

They sell Coffins/caskets???

NOW that is " a sign of the times".......

 

[bloomz]

Karla, yes it is a big "wholesale club" merchant (warehouse type of look) here with annual membership fees (amount of about $30-100) to get in and purchase - they sell everything in larger quantities like you can't buy a single bottle of shampoo - always at least 2 bundled together, and food in bigger quantities (a lot of restaurants buy there), tampax by the pallet (that's a joke) as well as Flowers cheaper than we can buy them (Nice 50 cm roses for I think it's $14.95 for 25 roses)

go here

http://www.costco.com/

search for caskets and you'll see what we mean. They suck and they are a Mom and Pop killer.

I hate them (well not exactly hate, but) and everything they stand for and do to local businesses yet sill find myself purchasing some things there.

 

[Victoria]

Someone on this board used to say, "there are three sides to every coin". We've heard (second hand) but one.

Righteous indignation aside, before we cast aspursions (we hate it when it happens to us) over the entire funeral profession, we should know the other two sides.

V

 

[aileen_c]

Victoria and for others, Just to be clear I'm not talking about the whole funeral industry....my posts are directed at this incident that was spoken of. Whether that's common practice or not...that shouldn't be acceptable under any terms.

I don't know maybe it's just me...I see something wrong happening I don't stand quietly and let it happen...I'm more of a person that will speak up right then and there. Now I'm not one of those that's butts my nose in other people's business for any reason but when the situation warrants a speaking up then I do. Case in point, I had witnessed a mother slapping her child repeatedly while sitting in the shopping cart...on the third hard slap I quietly walked up to her(she didn't realize someone had seen her) and let her know that If she were to slap that child once more she is warned that the same would be returned to her in an instant. Then I let security know what happened. Turns out she had been slapping the little girl more than what I had seen.

 

[Erlene]

What we all need to keep in mind here is that none of us know the entire story so rushing to judge seems pretty unwarranted.

 

[thebloomcloset]

Well,

I cannot imagine the feelings and situations of a funeral, I have really only dealt with one personally, but after a weekend of driving to Indiana from Georgia and back to see a sweet aunt that is going to be having a funeral very soon, I'm afraid to say, I got to thinking about deaths and funerals, and I have lived my life trying to have a good time and laugh, so I would really enjoy making my friends laugh at my tackiness one more time.....so dont be offended, and say I'm not taking the thread seriously, I think everyone has made the points, and I hope that the only trend that begins is that everyone is appreciated for the things they have done and the things they have said, and the people they made happy.

 

[aileen_c]

Too Funny Jean!!

Oh BTW, with this thread I've earned my first RED DOT!!!

 

[Victoria]

I don't know why anyone would give a red dot based on opinion. But that's not what the thread is about. Anyway... there you go.

V

 

[Lizi]

Costco's policy is stated on each page where caskets can be ordered. It also states the no funeral home can rufuse to use a casket that was not purchased through them. Federal Trade Commission rules. However, if not delivering to the FH, the person who orders the casket has to be there for the delivery of casket. Looking at the prices of their caskets and they are not that much out of line with our FH here. Sure there are lower end price caskets, about the same a costco and the high end price.

Mostly what drives the price of a funeral up is all the added things, I had a lady call last week to see if we had any quest books, said the FH in another town wanted $400.00 for a book. I know the limos are expensive, until you have seen the total breakdown of a funeral cost, you cant imagine the expense of some of the most simple things.

Costco flower prices seemed a bit out of line with what we do around here.

 

[Villageman]

villaheman

From what has been posted here, it appears the FH was in the right, if we were in their shoes would we have done differently? They have a 4. markup, so do we, they have a 3. markup so do we. we need to be fair in all things. again most of us say we wouldn't touch cotsco flowers, this funeral home wouldn't touch cotsco caskets. it cost a lot to purchase a new hearse, $80 to $150 thousand dollars, would we want that for our loved one or a rusty panel wagon hauling them. I am not in the funeral business, just flowers, but I see their point.

 

[divakat]

Amen! I Totally Agree With Your Statement

The HUMAN INGREDIENTS OF LOVE, KINDESS, and COMPANSION were not present. My husband is a veteran (DESERT STORM) and I be dang if I ever would allow this to happen to our family, NO MATTER HOW MUCH the FD feels about his LOSS IN REVENUE, which should never OVERSHADOW the LOSS OF LIFE. End of STORY!

NAW! It's a sign of the DISGRUNTLED IDIOTS at that funeral home who took exception to the fact that, the family bought the casket from someone else.

In our area, the costs of burying a loved one is atrocious and averages $10,000.00 just for the Funeral Service.

Add to that, the costs of a plot and a headstone or a crypt, and ya better have a Life insurance policy of at least $25K.

Even if you already own a plot, the cemetery charges you $400 just to open it, or $600 on a Saturday or a Holiday. (Even the Grave Diggers have a Union, unlike WEE FLORISTS, ey?)

Facts are that, if the funeral homes didn't insist on marking up their caskets at cost X 4, Costco wouldn't have a market.

At the funeral home, a metal Casket costs around $3995.00.

A similar casket at Costco costs $924.99 with shipping included.

COSTCO 18 GAUGE STEEL CASKET

Given those facts, especially when the deceased may not have had any Life Insurance and the family has no money, Costco works for them.

However, make no mistake that, the Funeral Home is still making their money for $ERVICING the SERVICE.

Their attempt to embarrass the family with that type of performance under those circumstances is totally unprofessional, unfeeling, and down right disgusting.

They are a DISGRACE to their profession and should be shunned by everyone for their deplorable actions.

Wasn't too long ago when I had a delivery of flowers to a funeral home and a brief discussion with that funeral director over the reality of our industry's changing times.

He was complaining about the same situation. He told me he had recently told a family that, if they wanted to arrange for a casket from another source, then one of their family members would have to be at the funeral home to accept the delivery when it arrived.

I kept my mouth shut, but my brain went nuts. I really wanted to ask him: Then, what in the heck are these people paying you to do for them anyway?

OH, I remember now. You get to direct the motorcade on the day of the funeral and perhaps even hold an umbrella over the spouse's head, should it rain on that day. At all other times, you hire a baby-sitter at $10 an hour for the 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 viewing hours, RIGHT?

They (some funeral directors) have built themselves a huge ego while projecting their professional persona to a level close to a physician, in their minds.

HEY! Here's the wake up! These are DEAD PEOPLE and you can't bring em back. Sure, you make them look good and set the stage for a PRODUCTION, but that's all you do.

Even embalming IS NOT A REQUIREMENT under the Federal or State's Health codes, but YOU SELL IT ANYWAY!

Wasn't more than 60 years ago that, most people shunned you folks because YOU DEALT WITH THE DEAD.

And, had you not gotten SO GREEDY with your QUADRUPLE KEYSTONE MARKUP and kept it at KEYSTONE (50% cost plus 50% profit = 100% of selling price) for an item which HAS NO LABOR, you wouldn't force folks to run to Costco for their Father's casket.

And, please don't try to equate that scenario with a customer wanting a florist to arrange flowers, they purchased somewhere else.

Personally, we don't do that, nor will be blow up some else's balloons.

Those are CHUMP CHANGE SITUATIONS for folks trying to save CHUMP CHANGE and not a Funeral Home already charging that family THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS for a FUNERAL SERVICE.

Here's my choice when my time comes:

TOTO'S CASKET

Something tells me that, my funeral director will not be as sloppy as theirs was, especially with 6 other Marines at my side.

 

[mrflowermarket]

It's a freakin' human body.....

I have read this thread with awe and wonderment as opinions where shared. We are all entitled to our own. I for one will not cast a grim shadow over and entire industry for the unscrupulous or more disrepectful behavior of one who shares their title.
In my eyes, rose colored glasses attached it appears that the FH handled this situation in the poorest possible taste. The analogy was made that this is much like an individual bringing their own vase for us to fill-- with this I agree. I could care less where she bought the vase, I will happily use them. I do not think it is like them bringing us Costco flowers and asking us to arrange them.
As was also mentioned it is against the law for a FH to refuse the use of a casket provided by an outside vendor. Eventhough (as in this case) they don't have to make it easy.. Arrangements should have been made for the body to be transferred prior to delivery. But that would have been too easy for the family. Our local FH are a group of very responsible respectful people, who we have had the privelage of working with. One recently sold to the Corporate world and has implemented similar changes to those quoted. It is an industry that is changing and evolving also, but it never should provide opportunity or make it acceptable to disgrace the human body or the family of the deceased no matter what the price or lack thereof. We had a crematory in our state that was discovered doing mass cremations and then dividing the ashes. All for a buck. There are good people doing good things everywhere. Unfortunately there are those without a conscience doing unconscienable things also. I think for whatever reason the latter applies to the subject of this thread. Shame on them for being scum of the earth. All over money. SHAME ON THEM!!!!!
best wishes mrflowermarket