*Michael Jackson wants to be buried at sea, preferably attached to two buoys
*What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Alex Ferguson? Ferguson will be playing Giggs in August
*His family have decided to have his body melted and turned into toys. It will give kids the chance to play with him for a change.
*He did manage to whisper one thing to the paramedics on the way to the hospital "get me into a children's ward"
*Monkey for sale, house trained, can dance a bit, contact never never land USA
*Reports of his death are incorrect. He's been found in a children's ward having a stroke.
*Apparently it wasn't a stroke, but skin cancer...Don't blame it on the sunshine..
*I thought they were melting him down in to cups so that kids could still get their lips around his rim?
*Michael Jackson didn't actually die of a heart attack................It was food poisoning from eating 15 year old nuts.
*Out of respect, McDonalds have released the Mc Jackson burger, 50 year old meat between 10 year old buns...
*It was touch and go in the Hospital, and that was just on the Children's ward....
*MJ's ghost has been seen walking the wards of a Children's hospital. Looks like he will continue to try and put the willies up small children.
*They released candle in the wind for Princess Diana. Apparently they are releasing Rolf Harris' 2 little boys for Jackson.
*Jackson has cancelled his upcoming dates. They were James aged 9 and Tom 11.
*On his death bed Michael Jackson requested that his ashes be packaged into a box of Rice Krispies, It is believed that this is so that he can have the feeling of going through a ten year old's @rse one last time
*In a tribute to the late Michael Jackson, his close friend Rolf Harris will be doing two little boys at his funeral
*Elton John will be playing at his funeral - "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
*His body was found slumped over a pram he had apparently tripped over. A police spokesman said it was too early to determine whether they should blame it on the buggy.
*Los Angeles police have now been round to Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch following his death. It is being reported that they found Class A drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his bathroom and Class 4C in his bedroom.
*MJ passed away at 3:15am. Which is ironically when the big hand touches the little hand.
*Jockeys this weekend will wear black armbands in remembrance of MJ, who has successfully ridden more 3 year olds than anyone else.